And I Want to Make a Career Being One of These People??

Current Tunes: There’s no music for my current mood but The Acacia Strain

“Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” took a chance on something, and at least for my money I think it was the right call. They blew the doors of the place, without any regard for who might be on the other side of them. Bay delivered, I’ll give him that. After seeing this movie, I completely understand why he wants a break from the “Transformers” franchise. From the looks of it, he probably very nearly killed himself in the process of making this movie.

It was a flawed picture, I will make no claims that say otherwise. But what the picture did right far outweighs its mistakes, and I think critics can’t or won’t concede to that fact. Yes, it is a fact. For that matter, find me a truly flawless film and I’ll give you 50 bucks.

Plenty of reviews have made mention of the hollow, uninspired acting and they’re right, the acting from the human characters wasn’t exactly up to par. But that’s perfectly ok, because something I imagine most critics don’t get about “Transformers” is that the story was never, ever, ever about human beings and isn’t supposed to be. Hell, if anything having human characters with any sort of character development at all is actually a negative quality, when you look at it in this light. One critic, Nell Minow, actually made the claim that “when the robots give a better performance than the humans, we have a problem.” I think she’s thinking a little backwards. Not only do I prefer this paradigm for “Transformers,” I think I would remind Mrs. Minow that a future where computers can out-act human beings may not be far off at all, When that world finally comes to fruition, and it will, this film might possibly be considered revolutionary.

But never mind that, I can understand why critics would be dismayed by that idea. What absolutely boggles my mind is how so many critics are referring to “RotF” as “boring” or “dull.” Are you serious? I was on the edge of my seat the whole time. Hell, even knowing how long it was, I would have taken another half hour! This movie was pure, unashamed fun. What kind of bleak, humorless world do you live in where this movie is boring? Maybe most of you critics just need to grow a larger attention span. Not everyone wants to make movies about the mentally handicapped and World War II, for fuck’s sake. And perhaps more important economically, not everyone wants to see those kind of movies either. Crude humor abounded, no doubt, but a few bad apples don’t spoil the overall very funny script, anchored by the welcome return of Sam’s parents from the first film. I also don't accept the idea that the film had no plot. The film had enough of a plot to hold the action together, and that's absolutely all that was required. Even acknowledging the frivolity of the plot, it kept my attention rather well. I especially loved the early concept of the Autobots & Special Forces working together to hunt down Decepticons, kinda like "Ghostbusters" but with robots instead. I know, that is awesome!

But here’s the crown jewel for me… One of the most ridiculous insults that’s stemmed from the critics has been a slew of regressive, cliché statements about the film being nothing more than a mindless summer blockbuster popcorn-chewing explosion extravaganza. Which it was. Was it ever trying to be something else? NO!

But know what movie I’d also easily file under this inane description? “Star Trek.” I guarantee you, none of these half-wits could look me in the eye and give me a single good reason why “Star Trek” was a meaningful picture while “RotF” was filth and garbage, as most of them have referred to it as. What a ridiculous crock of nonsense. It’s a disgusting double-standard. What’s even more frustrating for me personally, I’m a huge fan of the “Star Trek” franchise, much more so than “Transformers.” But between the two, the film I was falling asleep during wasn’t “RotF,” it was the one that raped and pillaged a franchise that used to be all about showcasing and discussing important issues for the development and progress of mankind and instead boiled it down into a sanitized, cookie-cutter doppelganger interpretation of its former self.

“Transformers,” as much as I love it, didn’t have that kind of gravity behind it, I’m sorry. It was from the beginning nothing but a vehicle to rake in a little extra cash for Hasbro and help market an already popular, and dare I say, innovative, franchise. But that’s fine, Bay isn’t out to do some kind of high art. Film can be beauty, and it can be distraction. If “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” wasn’t a fun, adventure/action piece for you, well now I realize I’m not really mad at you critics, I just plain feel sorry for you that you’re so entrenched in your own sheep-like bleating mindset that you can’t appreciate a little home-grown American blow-em-up fest.