First Week of the Rest of My Summer Life

Current Tunes: Book of Black Earth – Death of the Sun

This morning’s play list was mega-fulfilling:

Bolt Thrower (need to listen to this more)
Gorod
Intronaut
Kalmah
new Narrows (OMG)
new Anaal Nathrakh (even greater OMG!!)

While I’m doing my internship, since I’m working from home, I’m making it a new habit to listen to new stuff or stuff I haven’t listened to in ages, like I did today. It’s a mind expanding little trend, and so far it’s terribly enjoyable.

Going home in about a week. Lots of fun things to do while I’m there, at least I hope. There should be a good dose of peace and quiet there, something I find myself in search of far too often.

I made it a goal for the summer to read two books in June, July, & August but I haven’t started anything yet. That changes today. More mind-expansion. Must increase brain cells, figuratively anyway. In other media news, I’m hoping to see at least one movie this weekend, maybe two. This recent desire to visit the theater stems mostly from the fact that I haven’t had money or time to go see anything since “Watchmen.” I still don’t have the money, but I do have the time and my need has grown too great to deny. Top candidates to see this week are “Anvil: The Story of Anvil,” “The Hangover,” “Angels & Demons,” or “The Brothers Bloom.” Ideally, I would see all of these. But alas.

Isn't Enough

Current Tunes: Hail of Bullets – Ordered Eastward

It’s the mid-point of the week and it’s gone by so quickly. Time doesn’t fly when you’re having fun, just when you’re getting older. Or more responsible. Sometimes those words are synonymous, older & responsible.

So I’ve been getting my little blurbs published here and here. Check them out if you want to see more of my writing on the Internet. I’m enjoying my internship thoroughly. I’ll get the career I want if this all works out, at least I hope I will.

One of the other more interesting challenges I’ve been taking up this week is trying to go as long as I can without going to the grocery store. I’m trying to eat all these other food items I have sitting around in the cupboard. Cans of green beans, chili. A quite large bag of rice. Soups. I think I have 2 more pieces of bread left, which will inevitably be transformed into a ham and cheese sandwich. This is menial to you, the reader, I’m sure. But for me this is a fascinating test of strength and will. A constant battle to deny the impulse to grab the car keys and bolt for the Kroger. Or worse, Taco Bell.

I ended up missing both Isis and Testament shows. This absolutely destroys me. But I didn’t have the money.

Regardless of this fact, I’m boiling over the pros & cons of going to go see mewithoutYou this Saturday. I’ve seen that band five times already, but sometimes five isn’t enough.

Sunshine

Current Tunes: Behemoth – Conquer All

My time of awakening this morning was 6:45 a.m. How awesome is that? I had a menial piece of bread with apricot preserves on it for my breakfast, then washed down a vitamin. After that, I bolted straight down to the gym and ran for a half hour. It felt super-good to exercise.

Then after showering, I officially started working at my internship with Box Office Magazine. A slow start though, nothing officially exciting. Worked on one quick news blurb, had a conference call with my boss and the other interns. I think I’m quickly impressing my boss over the other interns, which is of course all a part of my grand plan. Soon, they will realize my greatness! Bwahahahahahaha!!

All in all it’s been an exciting morning. Exciting because I feel responsible, even if it wasn’t all that much to accomplish. There will be slow days, and I should be grateful for them. The mistake would be to wish for all the days to be like that. Must learn to appreciate and respect the wave that is life; sometimes it goes up, sometimes it goes down.

Creating Habit and Instinct

Current Tunes: “L.A. Confidential” on TV; good movie.

It's a long post, but it's worth it. At least I think so.

Note #1:

I had a quaint little idea pop into my head today. Only current/former Magic players will get the analogy, but nonetheless I must share.

I realized for quite a while I’ve been living a life where every turn I skip my upkeep phase. It’s a very important phase; it comes before your one free draw every turn. That draw is your resource, your reward. But first comes the upkeep, where you pay your costs and reap the benefits of the cards that demanded this sacrifice.

So what are upkeep costs in normal life? Cleaning your room, doing dishes, working out in the gym, eating healthier, etc. I skipped these activities far too often and lots benefits & resources as a consequence. A more in-depth example: the past two weeks I’d been feeling physically (and as a consequence, mentally) quite rundown. I couldn’t find any energy or strength to pick myself up. Today, I worked out and that short investment gave me confidence and energy to do more things, like do a blog post today and clean up my room more.

I need to stop skipping my upkeep. I need to maintain my life on a day-to-day basis., in order to be healthier, productive, significant life. Day-to-day is the key part. I maintained my life before, but mostly on something more like a bimonthly basis. Frequency is key. Success is achievable.

Note #2:

I’m giving new thought to incorporating something into my life that I have all but rejected the past several years. After attending a friend’s wedding at a Catholic church last week, the experience left an impact on me I haven’t been able to shake. I think I want to find a spiritual/religious organization to devote myself to.

What I desire out of this idea is one simple word: community. Friends are much like community, but they are still different. My friends, I love you all, but not many of my friends share my specific spiritual/philosophical views on life, politics, the world, etc and I want to find a community where I can come together with a sizable group of like-minded individuals with the same (or close to the same) ideals and outlooks that I have.

I’ve considered that perhaps a religious organization is not what I need, just a group focused around atheists & agnostics. But the one thing that kind of group is missing is ritual. The ritual of the wedding was what had grabbed me so much. The magic and mystique of the ritual is what attracts me. I can't explain it much deeper than that. A sense of power comes over me when I think about the execution of the rites and traditions. I want to be a part of that.

Though I have certainly eliminated Christianity (along w/ Islam & Buddhism) as options for this venture of mine, I have to admit it would be somewhat ideal to just go to Catholic service for years and years. However, I don’t think it would go over well to just explain to the congregation “No, I don’t believe in God. No, I don’t want to be confirmed. I just want to hang out and enjoy the community and ritual.” I think they’d consider me something close to psychotic.

So beyond some atheism group, there is one serious option I’m considering, that for now I won’t mention because of plenty of stigma attached to this group of people; I don't want to frighten or confuse anyone right now. I’m trying to do the research; learn about different teachings & sects. I want to make an informed decision.

Even with all this said, it’s a very real possibility that I could find myself trying to attend services or meetings or whatever for whichever group I choose to try out, but I’ll still pretty much be an atheist at heart, not truly believing in the teachings just attending and enjoying for the sake of being around people.

I don’t think this will be an easy search. But I have confidence I can make something of it. Ideas and suggestions and thoughts are always welcome.