Chill Out... Seriously.

Current Tunes: Opeth – Heir Apparent

Well, haven’t I been a bad, bad boy? Gone too long without a post/update of any kind. But finals week is tumultuous. And dangerous. And stressful. But whatever, it’s done.

I probably wouldn’t have even posted today, but circumstances beyond my control have forced my hand. Today’s events have sent the Internet, indeed it appears the entire world, into a massive paranoid frenzy. So as a staunch supporter of reasoned, rational thinking and calm collectedness, I am here to put all your fears to bed. Everything will be all right, no one will be harmed, no one’s life is in as much danger as it might seem.

It’s O.K. that Disney’s buying Marvel.

So stop freaking out about it. It wasn’t but three or four years ago, Disney Company bought the Jim Henson franchise, and even I freaked out moderately about that. I remember all of us speculating that they would rape and pillage the canon of beloved classics like “Sesame Street” and “Fraggle Rock,” but no such travesty occurred. They’re making money off the Jim Henson name, sure, that’s what corporations do. Let’s not act like it’s some abomination against the gods of Imaginationland.

This makes lots of sense for Marvel, it looks like to me. And fans of the so-far-successful series of Marvel Comics turned into films should be especially happy about this. Disney will provide a great deal of financial backing to future projects, and Disney can market a film with the best of them. A $4 billion price tag should excite fans to know that that’s what Marvel is worth. Maybe would have been more in a better economy? I'm not an expert, but that seems more than plausible to me.

It’s important to put that in context. Go back in time nearly 50 years ago, walk into a local comic store selling its first copies of “Fantastic Four #1” and tell the owner, and whatever young and impressionable patrons are there, that a few decades from now Marvel will be bought by the Walt Disney Company. They’d throw you out of the store, straight into the back of the next ambulance making a stop at the crazy-house. This is a monumental day for comic books, to see that that’s how far the medium has come. From a low-brow, adolescent indulgence to a pinnacle, top-tier American entertainment franchise.

If you really want to make a fuss about something, you should actually be angry about what Disney already controls a stake in… Establishments like ESPN, ABC, Miramax, Touchstone, Dreamworks (YES, THAT’S RIGHT, DISNEY OWNS STAKE IN DREAMWORKS!), Hyperion Books, Hulu, plus several video game developers. This is just a piece of the list and doesn’t include the ridiculous amounts of revenue generated from their direct brands and their bloody theme parks. Their ownership in cable extends far past their silly family-oriented pop-nonsense like Disney Channel and the ABC Family Channel. They own Lifetime, A&E, The History Channel, & The Biography Channel as well as a host of local broadcasting stations across the country.

Disney is a media empire of frightening reach and scope, mostly because of how far they reach into the minds and lives of American children. That’s what you should be the most angry about really, if you’re going to pitch a fit about something.

Don’t get me wrong though, I’m still not here to rag on Disney. I, for one, am excited that Disney made a smart move and picked up Marvel. I know Marvel’s shareholders are all happy people too, and good for them. Shareholders sure often get labeled as greedy people, and maybe plenty of them are. Also, I don’t happen to know any of Marvel’s shareholders personally, but I have to salute them for investing their money in a property that the whole country hasn’t always viewed as a vibrant, meaningful aspect of American pop culture. Guess who’s left laughing now? This isn’t a step backwards for comic books, and it certainly isn’t their death; this is a validation.