Not Falling For This (Down Boy!)

Current Tunes: Children of Bodom – Hate Crew Deathroll

So a friend directed me to this provocative little video the other day, and my reactions were complex enough to warrant that I document them here.

He astutely informed me the women featured so prominently in this video are indeed members of some group of competitive gaming females dubbed “Team Unicorn,” who my friend asserted are associated with the Fatal1ty gaming empire. So right off the bat, make no mistake, these girls are definitely involved in major money-making. For me, that makes their intentions a little suspect.

But we’ll leave money out this. It's pretty clear what the true purpose of this clip is: eliciting erections from a host of young American males aged 16-99 who have a more than passing interest in comic books, video games, and fantasy/sci-fi literature. Which, ok, admittedly comes close to including every breathing male in the country.

Regardless, it’s pretty insulting to think that if they spend a hunk of cash on flashy costumes and retarded lens flares and a Stan Lee cameo, they’ll suddenly monopolize the attention and affection of the above-mentioned demographic. It’ll work on plenty of men, I’m sure, but I’m not falling for that. I’m hopeful there’s a right honorable contingent of men who looked at this and had the same reaction I did, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there weren’t.

Insulting us in that regard is one thing, but how about the insult this is to gamer/geek women? First off, no one in their right mind thinks a majority of geek culture girls are potential underwear models. These gals are the exception, not the rule. Which is good for them, sure, bravo. You’re physically attractive and you know who Stan Lee is. You deserve a damn trophy, don’t you?

Back in reality, by doing this video you’re just setting a bad example for young girls who are part of the culture. You’re sending a message that guys are easily manipulated, but you can only achieve that level of power and attention if you’re super-beautiful like us. What a crock. This is no different than the criticism you’ve heard before in this argument, I’m sure.

But full disclosure comes now. This is what peeves me the most about this video. I’m of mind that it’d be wonderfully fulfilling to have a relationship with a geek chick. I would love to have that kind of gal to sit around and talk to about which “Star Trek” captain was the greatest. But I don’t want it to be the kind of girl that’s being represented in this video, that says to geek women you have to dress provocatively and sing incredibly pathetic pop music (actually, its probably not them actually singing at all) to attract my attention. I want a woman smarter than that — plain and simple. And it’d be nice if those women knew that was what was really desired, not these over-sexualized scale-sized dolls.

I’d be amiss to have this discussion without mentioning “The Guild’s” cute little “Do You Wanna Date My Avatar?” video. This video was the precursor to the Team Unicorn video, and should be where I direct a significant portion of my blame to.

But disregarding the debate over whether or not a music video giving merit to having a romantic relationship with a full-fledged simulacrum is or isn't a sign of the coming Apocalypse, I really don’t have much of a qualm with “The Guild” video. Felicia Day does not strike me at all as an attention whore for this simple reason: if she was, she could have far, far more attention than she has now. She only takes roles that interest her, which from what I understand should be read as “roles that set a positive standard for geek women.” She's popular among all of geekdom, but she hasn't done a lot of mainstream material. The highest she ever ranked on the mainstream ladder was probably her two whole episodes she did of "Dollhouse." Which, you know, got cancelled.

If anything, “Do You Wanna Date My Avatar?” is a critique of gaming culture. I could probably do an extended post just explaining that.

But this filth that came from Team Unicorn is degrading, insulting, and just garbage in general. Geek and gaming culture was, I thought, doing a great job in the fight to bring the sexes onto a field of equity and respect. But material like this is regressive, with little redeeming value.

I say little redeeming value because, I’m sorry, I can’t help myself… Katee Sackhoff with red hair is a force of sexual power this world is not prepared for.