Fight to Get it Back Again

Current Tunes: Pearl Jam - The Fixer

So one dropped-out-of-class and one visit to the bursar later, and I feel significantly more myself than I did the last time I talked with you all. Less stress and more economic freedom makes for a fantastic combination, I must say. Now I can concentrate on more pressing matters like thesis work and job hunting.

Easiest way to explain how different today is compared to Monday would be to talk about what’s coming up for me this afternoon. I’m headed up to the school this afternoon to finish up some class work for today, and I’m actually moderately looking forward to it. Which is no small happening, considering how difficult this class will be for me, I think. I’m actually having to go to extra tutoring sessions on Fridays, to get help with learning InDesign so I can design this little book project of mine. It’s exciting, getting to learn something I know almost nothing about and have no skill regarding the primary process of it all.

Who says fighting is something negative? I’ve finally put something together about myself. I’m adversarial, wouldn’t you agree? Think about how contrary and argumentative I am most times. I think I finally figured out why I’m that way; because it’s a struggle, and there’s nothing like a good struggle to let you know you’re still alive. Conflict is what makes the world go ‘round, not love. Hell, you could make a pretty concrete argument that love is a conflict. Who was it that said love is a battlefield? Oh yeah, Pat Benatar. Well, not as compelling as Descartes or Pope, but it still gets the point across. No offense to you, Mrs. Benatar.

If I try to articulate why it is that I love the feel and the emotion of the struggle and the fight, it’s hard not to get caught in the undertow of it all. Fighting isn’t always violence and destruction; that’s a distinction I think people don’t always realize, and even I fall into that faulty logic from time to time. I’m going to do my best to stay out of it though. We struggle because we must. We fight because it is the path to greatness, achievement, progress and even hopefulness, sometimes.

Haven’t really meant for posts to focus so exclusively on personal observations and problems, but there hasn’t been much room for going to movies lately. New shows have started; both “Sons of Anarchy” and “House” are off to rolling starts, but I’m still evaluating them on a larger scale that will take another week or so. Hopefully this weekend, though, I’ll get out to the theater to see “Zombieland” and report back with a riveting review. Promise.